Good old-fashioned post with too many subjects for a proper title

I was thinking about doing a blog post regarding this past week (I'll just skip right by an explanation and refer to it only as "the national conference" because I'm lazy like that), but I decided against it. If you were there, then you don't need to read about it, and if you weren't, well... it won't be terribly interesting to read about it. Maybe to hear about it, though, because... life's just weird that way.
Anyhow, instead, a short summary of some things that happened:

-I got there Sunday evening and basically did nothing interesting until Wednesday (the day of the group competition).
-The first few days, I watched quite a bit of television (compared to the usual, I mean). Mostly the food channel. I think it was on JKR's blog that I read something like "Alton Brown is the reason we have cable." Some day that will be true of me as well, I bet. He's definitely the most interesting (real) person on television (that I know of).
-I also finished some optional tasks in FINAL FANTASY VI in preparation for the final assault on Kefka's stronghold. I got some nice stuff out of that, and my characters are also much stronger now, though still not enough to finish the game, unfortunately. Just for reference (yes, I know none of you care), Molulu's charm makes the Cult of Kefka's tower very, very easy.
-Apparently the unexpected relocation of the conference (due to flooding) made things even more stressful and crazy than they were going to be already, but I don't think anybody could tell. Everything was very well-organized.
-I hung around with the group from Campus all week because nobody from my youth group came. They were all "busy." They seem to be "busy" on a suspiciously frequent basis. And (if you haven't heard, I like to say this so it doesn't sound as if I'm saying something I wouldn't say to the face of the parties in question) you can tell them I said that. Except... nobody who reads this will see them, I bet. So... I can tell them I said that. Or... something?
-All three of the drama groups from CBC did really well (they won the top three spots, but... they were the only three spots). I took videos; I can email them to anyone who wants them.
-I thought the impromptu writing thing on Thursday went awfully. The "topic" was actually just a vague statement. At first, I just started writing with no solid idea on what I would be doing. Then I decided to steer it in an unusual direction ("points for originality"?) and finished a few minutes early. I went through and revised some things. I wanted to make my conclusion better and/or come up with a better title, but I didn't have time. Anyhow, I personally thought it was pretty bad.
Oh, and if you hadn't noticed, I don't really like to (/I don't understand why anyone would want to) talk about things like that, so that's about all you're getting out of me on the subject. I guess I'm just weird like that. To me, the question "what did you write about?" is sort of like the question "why are leaves green?". Yes, it can be explained, but it's often a better idea to just accept it and move on. Also, it can be answered with little research on the part of the person asking the question (Wikipedia, yay!). Or, in this case, you could just read what I wrote. Except... you can't. Because I'm the only one who has it. I'll figure out somewhere convenient (not here) to put it at some point, I expect.
-We never ended up doing the whole Spam-thingy on... was it Friday? Thrusday? I think it was Thursday. This was because of poor weather. By "poor", I mean "abysmal" (speaking of the word abysmal... *mental note for next topic*). Actually, I'm rather fond of rain. And lightning. And lampreys. But that's not really relevant, so I'll move on.
They didn't seem to have any definite plans (you have to realize, of course, that due to the relocation and all, they had already had several plans fall through), so things were a bit unorganized and we were all crammed into a room that was pretty biggish, but not big enough for such a large group. Anyway, all things considered, it actually wasn't so bad.
-There was this optional event that basically involved... umm, absolutely nothing. We sat around and listened to random people tell jokes, and watched funny videos. Actually, they were really dumb. But... that's why they were so funny. There was also free food and stuff. That's basically why I (and, probably, everyone else) went, and because of this we spent quite some time making fun of ourselves as North Americans. See the third topic of this post.
So, anyhow, I personally found the whole thing quite enjoyable. Intentionally unorganized/pointless events are so cool!
-We (Nathan C., Ben C., Daniel P., and I) stayed up all night Thursday/Friday. It was actually a lot of fun, and by the end of the night, I couldn't even tell any more how tired I was. Basically, my brain sort of skipped a whole night. I was a bit tiredish in the morning on Friday, but that sort of wore off, and by lunch time or so, I may as well have actually slept for several hours, because it didn't really seem to make much of a difference. I did end up going to sleep pretty early that night, though, and took a nap for a few hours today. Now I think I'm totally fine. Overall, the whole thing was quite odd. I'd almost recommend you try it some time, were it not for the fact that I'm pretty sure it's extremely unhealthy.
Anyway, we did lots of odd stuff, both inside and outside, though when we were outside, we were pretty much just in the parking lot right outside the dorm the CBC group was staying in. There wasn't a lot to do outside; we were just there so we didn't have to be so concerned about being loud. So... we ate pop-tart-things and called a bunch of people. We weren't trying to annoy anyone (mostly); we figured most people shut their phones off at night, and several times we called people specifically because we knew they were up anyway (or should be) for various reasons. We also talked amongst ourselves a lot (which was really the whole reason we stayed up so late; it got to the point where it wouldn't have made sense to go to sleep, because we would have just been really tired when we woke up, so we decided to get some food and stay up all night). Other than that, I don't think we actually did much of anything.
-Daniel won second place in the strings competition, and I think it was really close becasue he got called back to play again. I won first place for writing. I hope people stop making such a big deal out of it soon, as I really don't think it was such a big deal. Well, I hear the scholarship is pretty big. But that, of course, is its own reward.
-I spent most of Saturday at Jeremy M.'s house. It was just going to be Seth and me, as we needed something to do to that afternoon, but it ended up being sort of, "Party at Jeremy's house!" and I think it was about six people who came. We pretty much played Soul Calibur (the first one) the whole time. I had never actually played it before. It's amazing; I'll be looking for it now. We don't have many Dreamcast games....
We ended up going to the Lighthouse (where we continued to play Soul Calibur) because of bad weather or something like that. I think more people were going to be there, but next to nobody was.
-That about sums it up. I didn't really end up getting to see many people outside the conference, which was a bit disappointing, but oh well. It was fun.
I slept the whole way back, pretty much.
Back to my "exciting" (i.e., not exciting in any way) normal life.

...Well, I said I didn't want to do a whole post on that, and that I'd just do a summary.
That didn't happen, obviously... at all.
Oh well. I enjoyed it, I guess. It was something to do.
Now on to a new topic (this is going to be a pretty long post!).

Ben asked me the other day whether I had a favorite word. I said I didn't have one, but that there were a lot of words that I thought were cool or funny.
I've already done a list of funny words (though I think my paper list has expanded a bit since then), so I guess it's time to talk about "cool words."
I think "coolness" with words is affected by the combination of two or more words. Like I already said that "abysmal" is a cool word. In FFVI, there's an Esper summons (Midgardsomr, maybe?) whose attack/effect/thingy is called "Abyssmal Maw."
Pure awesomeness.
I'm getting pretty good at combining words to make them sound good or whatever; I give a lot of my stuff ("art", "music", games, etc.) weird names and stuff. Here are some examples:

"Scyphozoa Preserves" (Photo / computer art / desktop wallpaper thing)
"Electric Vegetation" (desktop wallpaper thing)
"Neon Bug Trap" (desktop wallpaper thing)
"Whispering Caverns" (.midi track)
"Synthetic Reassurance" (.midi track)
"Virtual Plankton Kleptocracy" (name I put music out under)
"Elastic Apogee" (name I put games out under)


Now, on to our final topic. It's getting late, so I'll keep this short (fortunately there's not a lot to say, as I want to do a whole post on something similar later).
Basically, we decided t hat Americans are dumb, and that it's fun to joke about ourselves. By "Americans" here, I mean specifically North Americans, or, even more specifically, residents of the United States. I don't usually like to use the word "Americans" in any specific sense, due to the fact that America consists of two whole continents and many nearby islands, but it just works in this case. It's more convenient to use than any long phrase, and nothing else sounds right.
So I came up with a bunch of jokes regarding that. They're all either "crossing the road" jokes or "changing a light bulb" jokes.
(The ones with an asterisk are ones Nathan C. came up with.)
You may take offense at some of these, but, really, lighten up. While they may not be true of you, they're certainly true of the common American stereotype.

Q: How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fifty-two. But it doesn't matter, because not even one of them will fit in the room.
A: Five. Four to get drunk, and one to be the designated light bulb changer.
A: Twelve. One to change it, ten to yell at him because he did it wrong, and one to complain about congress.
A*: A hundred and one. A hundred to believe the light bulb needs to be changed, and one to actually change it.

Q: Why did the American cross the road?
A: There was food.
A: That was his exercise for the week.
A*: That's where the moving sidewalk took him.
A: Everybody's doin' it.
A: He was protesting high gas prices by walking...
...to the parking lot.
A: It was a team-building exercise, but nobody else wanted to do it because it was stupid.

Several people (myself included) came up with more, but I didn't think they were good enough to write down.

Anyway, I'm done for now. I want to keep posting, and I have several ideas written down, but I don't want to do any of them just yet; be sure to remind me of "arcade-style games" (you don't even have to know what I mean by this) at every opportunity until I actually do a post about that.

:::Source=Paul M-unit 19.91 MKII

(Note: I have another short post I did earlier today, so keep scrolling if you haven't already seen it.)

Me for President

Interviewer: What is your proposed foreign policy?
Me: Go for the jugular!!

Interviewer: What are your thoughts on "energy crises"?
Me: I am an energy crisis.
Interviewer: And on "alternative fuels"?
Me: They don't exist.
Interviewer: So what do you plan to do about rising gas prices?
Me: I'll send mercenaries to the oil companies to convince them to sell gas at nine cents a gallon.
Interviewer: Wouldn't the oil companies all go bankrupt?
Me: Yep.

Interviewer: What do you plan to do about the national debt?
Me: Any politician who tells you they'll pay back the national debt is delusional. It's an irreparable problem. So, naturally, I'll be spending money wherever I see fit, whenever I want, because it just doesn't matter.
Interviewer: Wouldn't that destroy the economy?
Me: ... You're implying there's still something left to destroy.
Interviewer: ... Oh. Oh, yeah.

Interviewer: Do you think you'll expand the space program at all?
Me: Absolutely. By the end of my third term, I plan to--
Interviewer: Excuse me. Third term?
Me: Yeah. I plan on changing some things.
Interviewer: The president doesn't have the power to change that.
Me: ...yet.

Interviewer: Your comments over the course of your campaign have been very controversial. What do you have to say about that?
Me: Your face is controversial.


I am Nigel Zippershirt and I approve this message.

Longevity Extension

Some of us have realize how easy it is to be harmed, mortally wounded, or killed these days.
But for the rest of you, I think I should start out by pointing out how easy it is to be harmed, mortally wounded, or killed these days.
Very.

Got all that? Good.
I will now present an obscure number (I haven't decided on it yet, but when I'm done, I'll come back here and write it in. ...OK, here I am. It's 13.) of methods to prevent yourself from injury, and, more importantly, death.
These are the rules I live by. You should, too.


1. Avoid automobiles.
Anything with an engine and wheels is bad news. It's a proven fact that car accidents cause a tremendous percentage of accidental deaths.
Obviously, the way to avoid being killed in a an automobile collision is to stay away from them entirely.
Don't drive them. Don't go where they might be driven. Don't look at them. In fact, it's best if you don't even think about them.
Worrying can be dangerous, too.

2. Gossip is dangerous.
Ever discover people whispering behind your back, and you're sure they're talking about you? Yes, they are. But they're not just talking about you. They're plotting to kill you.
These people are no longer your friends. Ignore them.

3. Technology = evil.
Every technological device ever invented wants you -- and everybody else -- dead. They were created to abhor all living things. Well, technically speaking, this is a side-effect of their tiny conscience that is constantly telling them they are inferior to humans. This is added to most pieces of technology with the hopes that it will put them in their place.
Unfortunately, this really just makes them angry.
And anger quickly leads to murder.
This applies to almost any kind of mechanical or electrical device, but the more advanced it is, the more dangerous it is.
This is why much computer work is restricted to trained professionals. They know how to handle such deadly killers.

4. Stay away from dangerous objects.
All heavy things can crush you. All light things can be thrown or knocked towards you easily (and then kill you in a variety of ways). All pointy things can impale you. All sharp-edged things can slit your jugular veins. All blunt things can knock out your brain. All tiny things can get caught in your throat and cause you to choke to death (regardless of whether you actively try to put them in your mouth). All large things can fall over an smash you. All medium-sized things can cause you to trip over and fall to your doom.
As you can see, there are many dangerous things. If you absolutely must be around them, use extreme caution.

5. Liquids are bad news.
You can easily choke on or drown in any liquid.
Also, liquids are often naturally poisonous, and if they're not, they can be poisoned quite easily.

6. Don't catch any diseases or sicknesses of any kind.
...Because any physical abnormality has the potential to be fatal.
You can avoid getting sick by staying away from anything that looks dirty, slimy, or germy. Also, stay far away from anybody who is ill or has a history of being ill.
Don't go into hospitals, because they're filled with sick people. Another reason to not get sick yourself; you may be cured of one sickness, but then you'll catch another from being around somebody who had it.
Actually, it's a good idea to stay a good distance from all people at any given time, because they may have some sort of sickness they are immune to (one you are not immune to).
Any sort of open dish with food is bound to be filled with germs in seconds. Eat as quickly as you can, and seal up and close food containers at every opportunity.
Don't eat anything that is alive or has touched something that is alive. If you must eat something raw, neutralize it with wasabi, which instantly kills any germs it comes in contact with. Speaking of which, wasabi is good stuff to carry around, because you can put it on your food to ensure it is safe.

7. Suspicious people look suspicious because they want to kill you.
If you ever see any suspicious-looking figures, run away. Or you could try knocking them out and dragging them to the nearest police station. Or you could take the law into your own hands and have them tied up and thrown off a bridge.
But if anyone asks, you didn't get that idea from me.

8. Be on the lookout for Black Helicopters.
Black Helicopters are a leading cause of death in several countries (most notably the United States). In fact, over 90% of unexplained preemptive intentional killings with malevolent purposes in North America are caused by Black Helicopters.
Unfortunately, death by Black Helicopter is extremely hard to avoid. Because of this, it's a good idea to stay indoors whenever possible. Of course, to further prevent the Helicopters from knowing where you are, it's a good idea to move around frequently without being seen. I suggest underground tunnels or rifts in the space-time continuum as safe, efficient methods of travel.
In the unlikely event that you are able to see a Black Helicopter before it kills you, be sure to take a photograph. This won't help you survive in any way, but pictures of them are rare, so it's nice if you're able to take a picture of your attacker before your life is taken.

9. Natural disasters are deadly, but easily avoided.
Obviously, you can keep clear of any natural disasters by avoiding nature altogether. Stay indoors, and don't live near water or fault lines.

10. If your house is bright, your future isn't.
Be sure to keep as many lights off in your house (or whatever building you happen to be in) as possible. Lit houses are easy to spot and night and, as such, are easy targets for bombers, drive-by shooters, rukhs, psychopathic ice cream truck drivers, etc.
Also, bulbs can shatter -- injuring or killing you with flying pieces of glass -- due to unexpected increases in electrical flow. Keeping switches off (or simply not having light bulbs screwed in) solves this problem.

11. If you stay away from dead things, you'll stay away from being dead.
Dead things (people, animals, circuits, etc.) are dead for a reason.
The "reason" might still be nearby. Why stick around and wait for the next person, who will, at that point, be looking at two dead things?
Avoiding graveyards isn't just superstition. It's an essential survival technique.
Graveyards, in addition to holding many, many dead people who may or may not have died before coming to the graveyard (meaning their bodies may not have escaped the trouble), are also homes for legions of nasty undead creatures like animate skeletons, zombies, and liches.

12. Weather is deadly.
If it's too hot, you burn up. If it's too cold, you freeze.
Obviously, this means you must remain indoors at all times and maintain a mundane, artificial atmosphere that is completely free of harmful temperatures.

13. Learn how to detect ominous occurrences.
When something seems odd or unusual, that's your signal to get away from it as fast as you can.
Anything that's not acting the way it should, or is different, or unusual, or just seems creepy to you for some reason; well, it's all a sign that something deadly is going to happen.
If you miss the signs, you won't have anybody to blame but yourself.
Even worse is if you see them, but you ignore them.

Following all of these tips can be a bit difficult, and you're certainly not going to be well-respected for it.
You may be called "paranoid," "overly suspicions," "morbid," "macabre," and "a certifiably fanatical nutcase who is completely bonkers and should be locked up in the loony bin."
But what's it to you if it noticeably extends your life expectancy?

Some Updates

I was going to make this a proper post, but I forgot what it was, and I'm going to head off to bed really soon.
Basically, for now I'll just tell you that I've changed a few things.
First, you'll notice I have a different template. Some day, I may demonstrate my mad web design skillz and do my own from scratch. But for now, I'm sticking with this; I like the colors much better than what i had before.
Also, I've added some things to help me know whether/how much people actually read this.
The first is a new poll; please vote in it.
The second is a javascript hit counter; I found some nice, flexible code online. They'll even track stats for me, which is cool.
I might add more things like that if I can think of anything I think might help.
:D

Oh, another change is that I won't be following the same rigorous format (you may have noticed this in my previous "letter" post). I might not be doing daily quotes anymore, but instead will be probably posting single posts filled with quotes every once in a while.
I also may stop signing my posts (or not always do it; sometimes it seems to break format a bit), as... it's kind of obvious where they all come form, and Blogger sort of does it for me already.
I'm also going to start using tags so you can look through posts easier. I'm not sure when I'll be up to sorting through all 50+ posts and tagging them (or if I ever will be at all), but you can be sure any future posts will be tagged.

Because of some odd circumstances that I definitely don't want to talk about at all yet, and certainly not here, my posts might be short and quirky for a while, and may not come as often.
Once I feel up to it, though, I'm going to try to post a lot more.

So I encourage you to keep checking back, and tell more people so they can read it too! They don't even have to know who I am; I don't care.
I just want people to actually read this. --And leave comments! Or you could, at the very least, respond through messenger, or email, or Facebook, or... something.
XP

Dear Apple,

Please stop trying to "compete" with Nintendo.
The iPhone can play games. That is good.
But will it ever be able to compete with the DS?
Just... because it has games?
...No.
Will it ever have Phantom Hourglass? No. Will it ever have WEWY? No. Advance Wars? Nope. Anything with "Mario" in its title? Certainly not.
Please keep doing what you do, and try not to do anything else.

Cheers,
Paul

Please read me. Feedback is also appreciated.

I haven't posted anything to this blog in ages, so guess what?
It's controversial issue time!

I had originally planned to do this in separate posts, but I figured, hey, why not just do it all at once?
This time around, I encourage you all to actually respond.
Because you're either going to agree with me or not (as if there was a third option!). Say so.


Part one: Language.

I am referring here to, ah... "bad language." Not just language in general.
This is slightly awkward, but it needs to be said, and I promised someone I'd post it, so bear with me.
Right, now. Basically, there are two strong opinions on this:
One. "Words are words. There are no evil words, I'll say what I want, thanks."
Two. "Swearing is evil. Superevil. Never do it. Ever."
Well, I'm not exactly of either of those opinions. I agree with the assessment of the first, but take the conclusion of the second.

Now, really, are words inherently evil? There's not really any way to tell. It's complicated by the fact that it really depends on what language you're speaking, and culture. Some people consider things more offensive than others.
But it's so easy to get caught up in that, when really, that's not the issue.
These are the issues:
One.
It doesn't matter what you're saying, or how you choose to say it. It's the meaning that counts, and some things you say makes the meaning clearer. So there you go. Calling someone an idiot is mean. Calling someone a {insert rude name / swearing here} is also mean. Should you really do either? And, yeah, some words are stronger than others. That's just the way it works when you insult people. So there you have it. The issue isn't what you're saying in cases like this, it's what you mean -- which is made very clear by what you're saying.
Two.
There are other cases, of course, in which people will not stop swearing, and they use it to refer to both negative and positive things. Well, that's just confusing. It's also silly. Don't you have anything better and more descriptive to say? Get a new vocabulary.
Three.
Regardless of any of that, it does offend people. And that might be what counts the most. Why would you intentionally try to offend people or make them feel uncomfortable? That's just plain selfish.

So that's that then.
Moving on.


Part two: Authority.

I've been thinking about this for a long time. Maybe longer than the first one; I don't remember now.
Anyway, then we were talking about this in church one Sunday, and I thought, "Oh, here's a good opportunity to do that post, then," but never ended up doing it.
Well, here I am, then.
Now, we're taught to respect authority, and it's really easy to do right now for some people. For others, they really don't pay any attention at all.
Authority figures can be wrong. But they should be respected anyway. Not only are they people, but they're people who are in charge.
Many reasons to respect them right there.
Now, you might be thinking "This doesn't apply to me at all."
Wanna bet?
Remember that thing they call the "election"?
Yeah.
It's looking like we'll have a democratic president this time around. They're going to think really differently than you and I (I'm speaking to my conservative audience here, which is basically everyone anyway) do. They'll do things we think is wrong, and we're not going to like it.

But respect whoever it is. Because they're the president. In charge. Authority.
It doesn't matter who you agree with.
We were reading in Romans, where the people there in Rome (no really?) were being told to respect authority. They had to deal with a lot worse than what we're going to have to deal with.

I don't mean just, "Yeah, yeah, you're a person, so I'll at least refrain from wanting you dead."
I mean actual respect. As much as you'd treat any person in authority with.
So, to use a corny illustration, what if you had to stop an assassin from shooting the president? Would you take a bullet for them, even if you despise everything they stand for?
I think the answer to that question should be yes, as strange as that might sound to you.


Hmm, I seem to have forgotten what part three was. Maybe it never existed?
Moving on to something more lighthearted, but still controversial.

I love the Harry Potter books. It's getting to be a bit silly, actually. I've read them several times, and trust me, I don't normally reread things.
They're just really great books.
And it's weird, because they aren't even written that well. I'll go through and think, "Wow, there are a hundred better ways she could have said that." But still. There's just something about them that keeps me coming back.
If you haven't read them yet and don't really know much about them, I'd encourage you to read them, at least the first one.
For those of you afraid of all the weird lies you've heard (fortunately they've died down), don't worry.
The books are not about witchcraft.
They're not about satanism, and they're not about wicca (which, contrary to popular belief, are two entirely different things that are hardly like the popular stereotypes at all).
They're about silly, fairy tale magic. Like in Disney movies, where the fairy stepmother turns dwarves into pumpkins or whatever. Admittedly, it gets a bit darker than a Disney movie towards the end, but I can assure you that it's nothing evil or demonic, or whatever you've been told it was.
I hope you realize that these same rumors were spread by people who think Dungeons and Dragons is a satanist plot to corrupt people's minds and Pokemon is a similar naturalist plot to corrupt people's minds and make them buy more stuff. Of course, you may be in agreement with those, too. I think I had another excellent example but I've forgotten it.
It also may interest you to know that one of the major bits of "news" that was passed out regarding the books making children practice witchcraft was a silly spoof article. Actually, there may have been several like this.
Anyway, the point is, these people haven't even read the books.
I have, and I can tell you they're not like anything you've heard at all.

Oh, and I suppose I should address Rowling's controversial "postmortem" comments as well.
I have no idea what she was talking about.
I would not be surprised at all to hear that she had made that stuff up on the spot just because she liked controversy.
Seriously. It's like, "Umm, we are talking about the same books, right?"
Very strange.


Anyway, this post was shorter than I had thought it would be, but oh well.
I really do want to post more often, but... I don't.
I need to get back into some kind of regular routine, I suppose.


:::Source = Paul M-unit 19.91 MKII