Yeah, I know, now you're going to be thinking, "This is going to be about video games again, right?"
Yep, you'd be right there, but that's just part of it. If you want you can skim through those parts, but you wouldn't do that, would you, really?
Anyhow, for starters, I'd call this blog a marvelous success so far. I know there are at least two people who have read it at some point. YES!
For those of you who aren't reading this... Wait, that doesn't make sense. But for anyone who is, make sure you let everyone know what they're missing. Also, suggestions for future post topics would be appreciated, too (In case I somehow run out of ideas... I don't really see that happening though)
Well, for starters, Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
The original SSB was awesome. Everyone who had an N64 had that game and Goldeneye (It's absolutely true. If you had an N64 and didn't have either of those games, you were a loser.). You'd think it couldn't get any better, but when they released Melee for the Gamecube, everyone discovered that it was actually two or three times better, which was completely mind-boggling. As such, I have high hopes for Brawl, and it'd better meet most of my expectations, or I'll... I dunno, burn down Nintendo's headquarters or something.
Unfortunately, a lot of the things I wanted to see (mostly character-related, which is where most of the games' coolness comes from) may not be showing up, and the website won't be updated again until the January seventh.
Now, they'd better just be not telling anyone about the cool stuff, because Brawl's release is only twenty-one days away (In Japan, at least).
So anyway, the game needs the following to be considered totally, freakishly, mind-blowingly awesome:
-Names actually showing up when you play online (this probably won't happen unless they change their minds, but it would make my next idea actually work)
-Online rankings
-Amazingly huge replayability (jillions of unlockables, lots of trophies, and branching one-player game paths)
-Forty to Fifty items
-Forty to fifty stages
-Forty to fifty characters
Now, about the characters, I have tons of awesome ideas (If anyone's seen IGN's little character-ideas thingy, you may recognize some of these, but I totally thought of them first XP). I hope at least one of them gets in there, but still, even if they don't, I bet they've got something even crazier up their sleeves:
-Lucario
Pokemon Diamond and Pearl*
-Black Mage
Final Fantasy Series
-Mog the Moogle
Final Fantasy (Specifically, VI)
-Chocobo the Chocobo
Final Fantasy (Specifically, the "Chocobo ___" spinoffs, I suppose)
-Isaac
Golden Sun
-Link (Cell-shaded, with Phantom Hourglass moveset)
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker and TLoZ: Phantom Hourglass
-Koume and Koteke
Zelda Series
-Ganon (as Final Smash for Ganondorf)
Zelda Series
-Andy
Advance Wars
-Mad Dog
Contra
-Scorpion
Contra
-Tails
Sonic Series
-Knuckles
Sonic Series
If every one of those characters (yeah, it's never going to happen) makes it in, I think I might just... I dunno, die or something. And I will add Masahiro Sakurai to my long list of heroes. On the other hand, if none of them get in, I think I will burn down Nintendo's headquarters.
Speaking of Nintendo, they sold a DS for every five seconds of last year. It's totally true. There's a reason for it, though. Actually there's several.
-It's relatively inexpensive
-It's practically indestructible
-It's amazingly inventive
-There are hundreds of good games for it
If you don't have a DS, you do have money, and you like video games, you totally need to purchase one. I'm pretty sure it's the greatest handheld system ever.
And no, I don't work for Nintendo, and they didn't pay me to do that. That wasn't an advertisement, that was the truth. Seriously.
Now, on to something more people will appreciate reading about. The Iowa Caucuses were yesterday, and the outcome was pretty unexpected, which is awesome, because anything can happen now. Anything! Shigeru Miyamoto could become president, even!
Oh, wait, that doesn't work, because... he's not a US citizen... and, uh, he's not running, but...
Still, my point is that this is going to be pretty nuts. And I can't vote, because the president is sworn into office on the same stinking day I turn eighteen.
Well, I guess I don't have anything more to say about that, really.
Now, to retrieve my next topic, I'm going to try something new.
As anyone who has tried to look something up on Wikipedia knows, when you go to do that, you will go on a long chain of articles that will eventually lead you to something completely unrelated that you didn't even know you had any interest in before. You will be at the computer for hours, and when you're finally done you will feel as if you are at least twice as smart as you were before. It's pretty fun; you should try it some time.
Anyway, I'm going to look up something... Ah, how about "blog." I'll try to make this quick, though, and sort of skim things. I'll see how far I get, and then I'll give my thoughts on whatever subject I come to.
Yeah, aren't I totally crazy?! I know it!
Blog > Brad Fitzpatrick > Scuba diving > Nitrogen narcosis > Helium > Resonance > Tacoma Narrows Bridge > Electronic Toll Collection > Bank > Banknotes > Money
Perfect. So money. Why, I ask, does everyone use this idiotic coins-and-paper system? Just because everyone else uses it? Well, a lot of things people use just because other people do, and that just gets them into trouble. Drugs, for instance.
Instead, I propose we use an entirely new system... Something portable and practical. Now, you might say, "Wait a minute, what's not practical and portable about paper money and coins?" Oh, everything, pretty much. For starters, they're solids. Solid things are just bad. Has anyone thought of using liquid money? Of course not. But wait, liquids are unconventional, you might say, and what happens if you spill it? Well, how about something more gelatinous, then? I propose the government comes up with a secret formula for a slimy ooze that can be shaped into whatever is most convenient for a person, and could fit in any container. It would be a distinctive shade of green that anyone would immediately recognize. Slime would be very interesting, because, let's face it, the money everyone uses now is really boring. It's not fun at all. Think of all of the fun things you could do with slimy money! The system could easily spread and be used universally across the entire planet, eventually forming a completely uniform economy. Every thing would be measured by weight, and a lot of green ooze could be traded in for a small amount of purple ooze. The purple ooze would actually cost roughly the same amount to produce, so it would save the government money. Both colors of slimy stuff, of course, would have numerous security measures applied to them, and the PH level, liquidity, and electrical conduction could be tested with special anti-counterfeit devices. Of course, now you're probably thinking, "What?! That sounds way more inconvenient to me; it's completely ridiculous!" Maybe you're even screaming it out loud (If that's the case, you seriously need some help). Regardless, that's just because you're not used to it, so it sounds strange to you. I'm sure that if you got used to it, coins and bills would sound totally bizarre after a time, too. You're just not willing to try new things, and that's pretty much what it's like for most of everyone one the planet, so I don't think we'll see the Slimy Ooze System of Currency out there any time soon, but if we do, remember that I thought of it first. I think I should be compensated with a healthy amount of purple ooze.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this post; I think it's a bit longer than the last few.
*Yes, the Pokemon games are actually very spiffy. You might say a video game based off of a trading card game is dumb, but you're wrong there, because the video games came first. They're quite inventive, but you still probably think Pokemon is stupid. You think this because Pokemon is fun to hate, I know. "No, really, I just hate it because it's dumb." Liar. Anyway, I think I'll keep my fun to myself, thank you. I'm sure not making you like something you obviously won't.
:::Source= Paul M-unit 19.91 MKII
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